Hey all
 Well I am taking a break from redoing rooms (well my room, soon to be my sisters) I am leaving for school on Friday so I am really excited. All of my stuff is packed up and I have been making the tour of the town to see everyone before I go. You know I never really knew just how many friends that I had. Well anyways yeah I spent all of yesterday painting my sisters new room barbie pink and white it is really cute for her. Today we are laying in new carpet, and hopfully setting up the new beds. I am so tired though I like hardly slept at all last night, cuz of the paint smell that was in the house. But I have all of my loan papers set up and I am ready for school. So I am starting my week off kind of slow just cleaning the house, and spending nights out with friends, God this time has come all too fast, well not too fast this has been two years in the making, but finally I am ready to go. Yeah. Well anyways I am gonna go for now sob but I can't wait to tell you more.

Hugs kisses and all my love

   Lei


      

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

George Eliot

 Well I know that it has been forever scince I have wrote anything in here. (Please forgive me) That doesn't mean that my life has stopped it just means that I have been really busy. For starters I am leaving for college next week. (Do you believe it) I still can't believe that the past year as lead me to a path to follow my dreams and do things I never thought possible. I have realized that in the past I held on to things for so long, that held no purpose other than to hurt me. So, I began the healing process of letting go. As of right now there is no relationship in my life, but don't worry that doesn't mean I'm not in love, It just means I have realized that it is for the best for me to stay out of them for awhile.

I went on Vacation, to upstate New York with some friends of my, there dating. It was like being the third wheel on a date for a week striaght. Well I gotta jet I 'll talk mor e later.

Goodnight and God Bless

Well, I met this new guy (Brandon and I broke up) His name is Kevin, sweet and spiritual. Actually he reminds me a lot of Tommy. Anyways, we have went out like three times now I  am always going to his house to hang out with his friends, and he comes to see me at work. Oh yeah he is also taking me to his prom. BUT I don't know what you would call he and I. Cuz I guess we are just friends, but it really doesn't seem like it. But if we were on the verge of dating, we would like hold hands or something right? I guess I should just be happy that he is a gentleman and taking his time. I just hope that it isn't just an act and once we start dating he will grow like six more arms and such. Oh I don't know somtimes it makes me upset others I just don't know. Ya know? Well it is in Gods hands now I guess.

My Grandfather had a heart attack a few days ago. Today he had triple bypass surgery. It has placed alot of stress in the house, and today I wanted to just get the hell out. Well I spent the morning in the hospital, and listened to my Grandma tell about why she married him in the first place. Which made me look at my Grandparents in a whole new light.

Then I went and I learned how to change the oil in my car. and then washed my hair and went to work at subway. I had a bad day at work which ended with me falling and throwing my back out. So I was actually just plainingly p/o. But it ended for me on a good note, I came home and saw my step-father crying. (my grandpas son) For once he didn't seem like such a hard person to live with but I left the room and let him have his moment, truly touched at seeing him in a moment where he wasn't a grown man, but a son who's Daddy is ill, and there is nothing that he can do for him but sit and let God's plan work itself out.

I was cleaning rooms in labor and delivery tonight. I walked by a room and there was a newborn only a few minutes old laying there in a warmer. When I looked in close I saw that there was a whole family there for that baby, a whole room full of strangers, to the little one offering all of the support in the world. And I thought to myself how lucky that child is, because somewhere in the world tonight, a baby was born and placed in a dumpster, somewhere a baby was born to a single mother and no family. And I became so angry that children, don't all get the same chances as everyone else. But God said that we all have our challenges to over come, and those challenges that can be met can be some of our greatest accomplishments.

Which led me to think of my own accomplishmets, if I died tomorrow. I had a tough time thinking about them. That I was here and, living and breathing and takin on the world. I had come to know Christ as my savior. I Celebrated having him in my life every chance that I could get. And that Is a accomplishment in itself. But It wasn't enough for me and I wanted to know what my what mark on my family. I helped raise my two beautiful children, my siblings who bring so much joy to those around them. If I was to go, that they would help show the world a little piece of me each day. Which that is okay but what about my friends? Well, I make them laugh. I share my faith and life with them. I try to take them with me and have us all try knew things and stretch our comfort zones a little more each day. I tell them to smile for no reason just to see how people react. Which was okay, but how did I help the world? And I had to think about this long and hard how would the world be helped by me being here. Well just by everything  I listed above. So mentally I wrote my own eulogy.(I was really bored)

Well I started the job at the hospital. While still working at Subway, and helping my mom in the morning with my brother and sister, and I am soooo Tired. Anyways, yeah I have been like on the go, well Shawn and I have been talking about getting an apartment, in like a year and a half. But I think that I am just going to go buy a trailer, and charge him cheep rent when the time comes. :-)

Well enough with the good I guess. I have been feeling very alone again latly. I know I have my friends and my family. Oh yeah Brandon I guess (there is no feelings there) I feel so reformed, and so changed from where, I was and I want to be able to share all of that again. I guess I am just here with holding on to all of this love, and no body there to take it. goodnight all

Hey ya'll, so tonight I guess I went of one my own little tangent. big surprise right? Well anyways I was talking about how Teresa screwed me over. Well anyways my co-worker told me that from what it sounds like that Tommy and I are ment to be together. Which I am a little skeptical but it is always in the recesses of my mind ya know.

Well this week in bible study we were talking about soulties which maybe that is what I have with Tommy and somthing I need to break but then again I am not really sure. But I am starting this Eljiah house healing to help me get through some of my emotions with the help of the holy spirit.  I am not religous but spritual.